The Paracryptozoological Annual Conference

Last weekend saw me busy at an extraordinary event. The Annual Paracryptozoological Conference took place at the “Bakerstreet“ in Saarbrücken. I was a speaker there.

If you don’t know right away what is hidden behind the word paracryptozoology, don’t be embarrassed: It is a field of research that basically does not exist. Paracryptozoology deals with “creatures that are so extinct that they probably never lived”.

To sum it up: the little creatures we are researching have sprung from our eccentric brains. And what an impressive number of eccentric brains they were! I am proud of us.

A glance at the programme reveals the infinitely important and sometimes very dangerous creatures we deal with. I, for example, or rather my scientific alter ego, Dr. Rosa-Eleonore Meyer-Hübschlieb, am concerned with the Diantus Glandularis Sugens = the carnation sucker, a worm-like parasite with a carnation head, which in its most dangerous form finds its way into human hosts and sucks away either their intelligence or their positive emotions, leaving them to be either stupid or depressive, depending on the subspecies.

Its existence is, of course,  denied by the ignorant, but if you take some reliable data, the increase in cases of depression (by 11% in the last 10 years; source: health insurance companies) and the drop in intelligence quotient (here you would have to take election results as a basis) clearly show that you should not underestimate the carnation sucker, even if you can’t see it

It was Christian von Aster , a fellow writer I greatly admire,  who had the idea for this event, which was somewhere between Monty Python and “Not the Nine O’Clock News” to describe the  sense of  humour. We were wonderfully quirky and quite crazy. The audience seemed to like it.

So there were lectures on unknown creatures, copulatory behaviour of such unknown creatures and exterminator services for precisely those unknown creatures. And that was by no means all.

A sponsor (just as existent as the creatures) generously gave away a “drug” that was supposed to help you not to be too busy by encouraging procrastination. Actually, I didn’t need this medicine. I procrastinate very successfully without any help.

Finally, a second event on the same topic was held the following day at the Drachenwinkel bookshop  in Dillingen. The multiple award-winning bookshop offers a colourful programme of readings and events.

It was all great fun, terrifically silly and had the added effect of meeting wonderful creative people who are just as quirky as I was.